not everyone is into listening to a skinny man with a big nose from Hamilton sing quiet songs

But I am, I am! Check this guy out. He's super cute, funny and awkward, happily married, and plays beautiful, warm, light brown stuff. Saw him at the Spill the other night, after Missy Knot and Sam Ferguson which was also good, but pretty conventional. Except for the djembe. They would have been kinda simple and boring without it, but the djembe made the performance remarkable.

ANYWAY. To account for my absence as of late, I will post photos. 

So, I was at a Blue Jays game. Uh, I'm not sure, my mom just decided we should go to one. So, there I was, sitting in a far from packed baseball stadium, and to my delight, there arrives a cute little hipster boy, with ironic glasses and a plaid shirt. Alone. So, I observed for a bit, and took a photo, just because he was so intriguing. I texted my friend about the whole situation, I mean, what twentysomething unathletic looking guy comes to a Blue Jays game alone? And I said to my friend, I bet his name is Ben. He looks like a Ben. And I was THIS close to going to talk to him, and whoop, there he goes, leaves after the third inning. I didn't think anything of it, until the next day, when my friend gave me the new MGMT album. 

Second from left, Ben Goldwasser. Looking a little more lively here than when he was being stood up at a baseball game... And to think, I was about to talk to him before I even knew he was in one of my favourite electro pop bands. Actually, pretty much the only electro pop band I listen to. AND his name is Ben. Wild. 

In further Famous People Attending Blue Jays Games News, Rich Terfry, just my favourite radio DJ ever, was also at the game. I found this out after he dedicated a Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings tune called "I Learned the Hard Way" to the first baseman the next day on CBC Radio 2 Drive. Have I talked about ol Rich before? I'm pretty sure CBC Radio 2 is broadcasted all across Canada; listen to it weekdays from 3:00pm, I think? You'll fall in love with this guy. I'll leave it at that. 

Oh, and I went to New York City. 

It was a band trip. Fun stuff from start to finish. I really do love that city, mainly for the following reason. 

I've been to New York a bunch of times, but different context this time.

 Broadway. Unimpressive, actually. Shocking, but let me elaborate. We saw Chicago. The dancing was incredible, and my super amazing dancer friend said it was really good too, so it was legit good, not just looked good. And the singing was adequate, I mean, nothing breathtaking, but not noticeably sub par. The band was a) visible the entire time, which was awesome, and b) ecshellent. I watched them most of the time. What killed it for me was the lack of set. Which would have meant the pit band wouldn't have been visible... but to me, it just seemed cheap, and asked a lot of the imagination. Which is fine, but I mean, my school performed Urinetown last year with 1/39874 of the budget, and had an incredible set, built by the wood shop. A black stage with the band on black risers just doesn't seem very... Broadway. Secondly, Matthew Settle. Yeah, Rufus, from Gossip Girl. He's flat in that, put him on a stage and you want to bang your head up against the wall. He was so bad it was awkward. He could sing enough, but he is NOT a stage actor. Barely a screen actor. Ugh. And finally, they obviously messed up once, one actor tripped and nearly fell on top of Roxie. Which could have been slicked over and barely noticeable, if they hadn't all BURST OUT LAUGHING. Dude. You're professionals, right? I was disappointed, to say the least. 

Brilliant, non? MoMA. Love. 

Oh Andy. My favourite. Although I always forget how much I like Picasso until I'm looking at it. But they can't really be compared, can they?

And you may have heard of the naked people exhibition. The Artist is Present, it's called. It was the entire sixth floor of the place, and it's closing at 4:00 tomorrow! Go see it! Now! It made me really uncomfortable, in that good art kinda way, you know? There were just naked people... facing each other, standing up on supports on a wall, laying under skeletons, running into walls, laying facedown on the grass... A looping video of women dressed up as peasants, running around in the pouring rain in a big field, flashing their lady bits... weird stuff, man. All of the naked people that were physically there were beautiful, too. An interesting observation. Perfect body types, men and women. At one part, you were supposed to walk between a naked man and a naked woman who were barely a foot apart. After conducting an in depth social experiment, I concluded that everyone, men and women alike, faced the women when they sidled through. So I faced the man. And very nearly touched his wiener. 

No photography allowed at that exhibit. 

And that pretty much accounts for my absence I think. I'm not working at The Crossroads anymore, WHOOOOO! Lifeguarding it up baby. Oh, and gold and gold at Nationals. I love jazz. Oh I almost forgot. Birdland at 11:00. Amazing. I need to find out the name of the group we saw, they've won a Grammy apparently. She had a schmexy voice, and the combo was so tight. They did a groovin jazz version of one of Joni Mitchell's earlier folk tunes, from the Blue album, California. I was almost crying, it was so good. I recommend that song, the entire album is incredible. I only ever listen to it if I can sit a listen and not do anything else while I'm listening, for fear of missing something. However, today's song du jour will be straight up funk. What about this. Soulive jamming on Hendrix's Crosstown Traffic. Quadratic FunkShun, a wicked funk band from Peterborough does this arrangement, and it's 

mind-blowing. Enjoy. 

Peace

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Blogging didn't make the list, surprisingly...

The best comment on my outfit today, was by an old man, in Zeller's. Well don't you look sharp, he said. And he meant it. He wasn't creepy or anything, he just enjoyed my outfit. This happens a lot, probably because I wear clothes that their wives donated to Value Village. Other than that, it was the whole up-down-raise eyebrows-tuck chin thing, by blonde people. But, I didn't go downtown. People in downtown Peterborough like what I wear. 

Please laugh. I don't actually take myself this seriously. 

And this is the, oh crap someone's driving down our road, this is awkward, quick, pretend I'm not actually taking pictures of myself shot. 

Anyway. The shirt is from Sympathy for the Rebel, a cool vintage shop downtown, the belt is from Vall Vill, but apparently from Bluenotes, because my friend has the same one, and the skirt is from H&M. 

Also, I picked up a dress I just had hemmed today, I'm excited, there will be pictures soon! 

While I enjoy talking about what I wear, probably a little more than I should, we've nigh approached the real impetus for this little post. This little delight, "Stuff White People Like" by Christian Lander. Hilarious. You know why? Because it makes fun of us, but is undeniably true. And guess what #103 is on the list of Stuff White People Like. Self-deprecating humour. This book is genius, not only for it's irony (#50) but because, well, it describes me to a tee. A creepy, depressing, irrefutable tee. Strangely enough, shortly before I stumbled upon this book, I wikipedia'd Hipster, because that has become my high school label, and I was wondering about it's origins. You're damn right I'm a "character who likes hot jazz". That's what it meant in the 1940's. Now, 

"Hipsters are the friends who sneer when you cop to liking Coldplay. They're the people who wear t-shirts silk-screened with quotes from movies you've never heard of..." 

Time - July 2009

Dude. We're not that pretentious. And Apple Dictionary said, "a person who follows the latest trends and fashions". I resent that. I like the derivative of 'hep cat' better. So while I can laugh at how accurate this book is, there are parts that were unfair. I'm rolling my eyes at myself right now, by the way. This book was essentially describing 'hipsters', and referred to those blonde people that give me the stink eye about wearing their grandma's shirt as 'undesirable white people'. Okay, I'm still with you. #1 was Coffee, and seeing as I was sitting in Chapters, sipping my latte like no other, I can't deny that. #14 Having Black Friends. Coolness should be directly proportional to how black you are, and unfortunately, I'm as white as they come. So I compensate by playing bass in a jazz band. But now I'm going to defend myself. #10 - Wes Anderson movies. I've met one person who likes The Darjeeling Limited as much as I do. The person who told me about this book, actually. So I guess, I'd be the one person they described that actually laughed in the theatre, making it okay for everyone else to join in. Another thing I didn't quite understand was what they said about Kerouac's On The Road. This just keeps popping up everywhere, doesn't it? In the White Annotated Bibliography, On The Road was described thus: "I read this book when I was sixteen years old. I would say that by the time I reached page 2, I knew I wanted to be a writer." (Note: Advanced white people are disgusted by people who like this book.) Okay, so I'm not an advanced white person. I want to be a photographer, not a writer, another profession that every white person thinks they can, and will, be. Oh, and under All Victorian Novels, "So your favourite books are Pride and Prejudice, Wuthering Heights and Vanity Fair? Convenient that they've all been turned into movies, don't you think?   Well, I haven't seen any of these movies, and the glory of Vanity Fair was in the satirical prose of William Makepeace Thackeray. I really DO like sushi, vintage clothing, acoustic covers and non-American news sources. Also, "If forced to select a Bob Dylan album, white people choose Blonde on Blonde or Blood on the Tracks." Both excellent albums, but I'm a pretty big Desire fan... I was surprised that The Velvet Underground made it onto The White Person's iPod, especially when Andy Warhol, purveyor of all things very white and American, was not mentioned. Modern Art Museums were, however. I guess the only things that 'offended' me were parts where the author seemed to think people didn't actually like these things, they just said they did because there were a few who legitimately DID like them, and looked down on those who don't. Hm. And in most cases, I do legitimately enjoy whatever the thing was, like Vanity Fair and Wes Anderson movies... and while it makes me happy if you do too, it's entirely okay if you don't.

Buy this book. Read it. Perhaps my favourite part was on the last page, 

This book was set in Helvetica, a typeface 

created in 1957 by Max Miedinger and

Eduard Hoffman at the Haas'sche

Schriftgiesserei, a type foundry in

Münchenstein, Switzerland. It has be-

come the official font of white people. 

Whenever a white person opens a store

or restaurant they must create a sign that

uses Helvetica, justified bottom right or

left. They love it so much they even made 

a documentary (see #57) about it. 

Guess what font this blog is in? Uh, Trebuchet, actually, but you get the point. 

In the spirit of white people music, 

Ridin' In My Car - She and Him

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my wife and I were addicted to strolling

You know you're musically deprived when the best song you've heard all day was by Green Day. But thankfully, at the last minute a Jimmy Eat World tune came on at work. GIVE ME DAVE MATTHEWS. Listening to Regina Spektor now, I'll be okay. 


Back to this whole Kristen Stewart deal. I think they're just cashing in on her star power, rather than any sort of legit acting ability. I mean, she's not TERRIBLE, but someone a little more powerful would make me happy. I guess my issue is more that they're going to destroy something so beautiful. Case in point: 

In the middle of the night I got up because I couldn’t sleep, pulled the cover over baby’s brown shoulder, and examined the L.A. night. What brutal, hot, siren-whining nights they are! Right across the street there was trouble. An old rickety rundown roominghouse was the scene of some kind of tragedy. The cruiser was pulled up below and the cops were questioning an old man with gray hair. Sobbings came from within. I could hear everything, together with the hum of my hotel neon. I never felt sadder in my life. L.A. is the loneliest and most brutal of American cities; New York gets godawful cold in the winter but there’s a feeling of whacky comradeship somewhere in some streets. L.A. is a jungle. South Main street, where Bea and I took strolls with hotdogs, was a fantastic carnival of lights and wildness. Booted cops frisked people on practically every corner. The beatest characters in the country swarmed on the sidewalks---all of it under those soft southern California starts that are lost in the brown halo of the huge desert encampment L.A. really is. You could smell tea, weed, I mean marijuana floating in the air, together with chili beans and beer. The grand wild sound of bop floated from beerparlours; it mixed medleys with everykind of cowboy and boogiewoogie in the American night. Everybody looked like Hunkey. Wild negroes with bob caps and goatees came laughing by; then longhaired brokendown hipsters straight off route 66 from New York, then old desert rats carrying packs and heading for a parkbench at the Plaza, then Methodist ministers with ravelled sleeves, and an occasional Nature Boy saint in beard and sandals. I wanted to meet them all, talk to everybody... (p.187 Kerouac)

Now, try turning that into a movie. You can't, you just can't, and that, that raw, simple prose is what the novel is all about. To take that away, and simplify it into a he said, she said, visual piece is impossible. It's depressing, it really is. 

On the bright side, I was just about to write about something, when I heard this line from On The Radio:

And we listened to it twice

Because the DJ was asleep

And I was just about to say how happy I was that this happened to me the other day. Weird. It was just so... human, and personal, and proved that there was actually someone there, controlling it, rather than it all being automated and cold. It was These Roads Don't Move by Ben Gibbard and Jay Farrar. And, we're back to Jack Kerouac - full circle. This tune is based on his prose, written for the movie Big Sur. Which I haven't read or seen, so I don't have a lot to say other than his writing makes for awesome lyrics. 

My brother's watching the hockey game, and this is what I just heard:

"My wife and I were addicted to strolling. We just strolled... everywhere. Then I tried Viagra. And the strolling just kinda... stopped." Hilarious. 

That's it for now, 

On The Radio - Regina Spektor

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kill me now

Kristen Stewart has been cast in On The Road. Ahem. &^%#$(*&@#&*(!)(#@$*&%&*$($#(*$#%&*($#5
Seriously. This is one of my favourite novels on the entire planet, Jack Kerouac one of my favourite writers, and a depressed, lip chewing pathetic vampire lover has been cast as one of the most intriguing characters. What is this world coming to. Keep this in mind though, if Miley Cyrus had been cast, I would have propelled myself off the nearest cliff with very little hesitation. This is blasphemy. There should be a committee of realistic people who have to approve which novels can be rewritten for the screen, because we all know that the movie is never as good as the book. I've never met anyone who thought, in general, otherwise. So why do they keep doing it? Write something knew, use the theme you like from the book or whatever, just don't RUIN something beautiful. Frick. I'm actually so annoyed right now. Imagination is dying faster than... something that dies fast. This novel is such a brilliant myriad of colour and noise and emotion in my mind, the second it becomes something organized and solidified, it will be ruined. And what was special and exclusive about Jack Kerouac, the cult appeal, the individual relationship the reader had with him will be entirely obliterated by the nine bucks of a cinema ticket. Frick.

The Underdog - Spoon

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Awesome O'Clock

It's been a while, but I assure you, it's been a crazy, amazing while. Actually. All I can complain about right now, is that it's over, but that doesn't really count does it? There are plenty of fluffy things I could write about, but they can wait. Right now, something of substance;

So I went to Ottawa this weekend, for the Rotary Adventures in Citizenship program. Skeptical? Me too. I went because my guidance councillor called me really late at night (well like, 9:30, which is late for a teacher) and frantically told me they needed someone signed up yesterday, would I please do it? And, it was free. But it was actually one of the coolest things I've ever done, and I rounded out my Top Three I Love Canada Moments List. More about that in a sec.

There were over 200 kids, representatives from every province and territory, flown/variously transported to Ottawa for FREE by Rotary. The students were housed by Rotary members and friends of Rotary, which is such a great thing to do... The lady I was with, Laurie was incredible; an awesome person all around, a lot of fun, beautiful, incredibly kind, and sincere.

Physically, what we did was visit the House of Commons, the Supreme Court, met our MPs at a banquet, listened to Ambassadors from around the world, met Justin Trudeau, danced, went to the War Museum, sang, read poetry, witnessed immigrants become Canadian citizens, explored beautiful Ottawa, sang Oh Canada in all twelve keys, and ate mass amounts of good food. But what's going to stay with every one of us forever, was the incredible unity and patriotism we felt and created in four days in Canada's capital city. The students who were there were selected by their principals, teachers or guidance councillors, or competed; only one from each school. The result was the most well rounded, enthusiastic, fun group of students that I've ever been part of. Everyone there missed as many practises, gigs and extra-curriculars as I did, and resenting an 80% wasn't pretentious. Saying goodbye after such a short time and saying 'nice to meet you' was the most confusing feeling; it felt like we'd known each other forever.

I can't begin to cover everything, but this moment stood out to me; Clapping and cheering until my forearms ached as we watched the immigrants became Canadian citizens. Some were saying that Canada should have been named Heaven. It was truly a life changing moment for so many of them, and that this moment was witnessed by young people from every province, and that they could sing Oh Canada with a voice from every province and territory for their first time as a Canadian citizen was one of the most emotional things that I've ever witnessed. This pride for my country was only surpassed by the emotion the first time I saw Vimy Ridge, and truly grasped the gratefulness of France to my Canada. And followed by, I must say, that moment when all of Canada erupted into a screaming, cheering mass when Crosby scored.

I have a new perspective for politicians, as well; one MP asked us if we felt that politicians were somewhere up there with used car salesmen. No one put up their hand, but it was kinda awkward, because we did. He then asked, where do we get our perception of politicians? The media. Do we feel that the media accurately represents teenagers? Touché, touché.

I also had a really interesting discussion with a kid at the War Museum. We were discussing the Avro Arrow, and the hypothetical repercussions of it being a success. In a nutshell, the Avro Arrow was an airplane designed by Canada after WWII that was essentially better than anything we have now. We built 5 (thanks Wikipedia) but due to cost, etc., the project was scrapped by the Diefenbaker government. We were saying, while it's a tragedy, had we succeeded we would be the hegemon.  At the same time, we said... "But I'm okay with not being number 1". Some American's wear Canada pins when they go backpacking across Europe, because, basically, they like us more. Being from Canada is truly a privilege. So our stereotype is self-deprecating, modest and friendly. Explain to me how that's something to be ashamed of.

In short, this weekend was an incredibly experience, that I will actually remember forever. And, here are a few of my new favourite Canadians :)

François from Hearst ON, Lindsey from Halibuton ON, Amanda from Golden BC, Colton from NS, myself and Thierry from NB. I miss you!

Also, handing my camera to a stranger and asking them to take a photo is hilarious. There are people that have never looked through a viewfinder before. I actually thought one girl was going to have a panic attack when she saw all of the numbers on the screen.

Oh, I got into OCAD. Celebratory dance. Also, I decided I'd be entirely okay with playing paid gigs as a bass player in a jazz combo for the rest of my life.

Well, there was nothing cynical, sarcastic, or ironic about this post at all. I'm actually still buzzing from how incredible the last week has been. And to top it all off, I just bought Jakob Dylan's album, and it's awesome.

Lend a Hand - Jakob Dylan

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